Feeling unbalanced isn't always the root problem. In fact, things we are passionate about will invariably unbalance our lives whether it's falling in love, standing up for ourselves, being in flow, landing the dream job, or raising a child. Another way to think about this is through the lens of alignment - the daily practice of walking the narrow path with our best selves leading the way - and what happens to all of us when we become misaligned, our best selves in tow.
To be steadfast - loyal to steadiness and firm with resolve - is to sit with ourselves both in our vitality and our dullness, when we experience ourselves as less than our "ideal." Perhaps one of the most challenging tasks is for us to simply stay with everything that arises. Stay with our emotional discomforts, stay with our restlessness, stay with our doubting-minds, stay with our aching necks and hearts. I believe that the root value of cultivating emotional intelligence is the way in which it supports our ability to be steadfast with our whole selves.
As children few of us were taught how to properly integrate our emotions or even identify what they are. This can often mean that as adults, we are often left feeling confused and disoriented when faced with emotions we don't know how to metabolize and learn from.
Cultivating emotional intelligence can help deepen our relationship to ourselves and others, guide us in making decisions more aligned with our best selves, and help with achieving a sense of clarity when faced with the inevitable complexities and richness of being human.
1. Who is interested?
These are one-on-one sessions. I integrate the humanities with technology, neuroscience, and and Jungian psychology to enhance our understanding of the self. I recommend meeting weekly for at least 50 min sessions.
These are sessions designed for romantic couples or company co-founders. My work draws from attachment theory, somatic therapy, and drama therapy. I recommend meeting weekly for at least 75 min sessions.
2: What are the issues?
Marriage and dating stressors, communication skills, coping with differences, infidelity, and cultural differences
Shyness, social anxiety, difficulty forming and/or maintaining relationships, learning to be assertive, emotion regulation, empathy
Career and Work Challenges
Meaningful and purposeful work, short and long-term career goals, employment seeking, career transitions
Clarifying personal values and beliefs, establishing short- and long-term goals during significant life transitions
Self-consciousness, self-esteem issues, and food and body related stressors
Existential and Spiritual Guidance
Spiritual and higher consciousness journey work and integration of psychedelic experiences
3: How deep of a dive?
Ready to dive into some of the surface issues that affect day to day life. Have a desire to learn basic meditation and mindfulness skills to cultivate presence. Prepare to be in weekly sessions for at least 3 months.
Ready to take a deeper plunge into the waters that is your consciousness and explore your childhood to find where patterns originated. Prepare to be in weekly sessions for at least 6 months.
In it to win it, nothing to lose, everything to gain. Ready to take a psychedelic plunge into the depths of your psyche, exploring every nook with the curiosity of a child. Prepare to be in weekly sessions with me for at least 1 year.
“We came to Michelle because while we didn't lack for love, several years into our steadily "enseriousing" relationship we continued to have periodic hurts/fights. They would seem to arise out of left field, then leave almost as quickly, leaving us bruised and shaken.
We were given the option of shorter or longer appointments. I highly recommend the longer sessions, at least to start. There's no price efficiency gained, but particularly early on while everyone is still getting to know each other, it can take time to open up and explore the roots of a topic.
Over the months that we have been seeing her, Michelle has been kind and willing to adjust our session lengths with some frequency, though that flexibility may be due to the fact that we are her last clients of the evening.
Sessions are a mix of talking, and doing thought exercises. Right from the first sessions, it was really impressive how the two play together to bring out more insight than I would have thought possible. Sometimes a session is devoted more to one of us, other times we're both exploring a topic.
Occasionally, we've met with Michelle separately. We have learned so much about ourselves, and about each other. At first we went to therapy because we were having troubles, but knowing what I do now, I think we would choose to meet with Michelle even if our relationship had been less tumultuous. It has been a fabulous journey we have taken together, one I would recommend to any and every couple.
Michelle is so clearly on our side as individuals, and as a pair. A thoughtful, considerate listener and observer, she is careful to extract the full meaning of both our words and our silences. Over time, as she has gotten to know us, she has been able have us draw connections between old scars and current sensitivities, recognize subtle lead ups to what had previously seemed, even to ourselves, sudden, inexplicable flares of emotion.
With this knowledge, we're able to help each other at a much deeper level. We're uncovering ourselves as if we were undergoing individual therapy, but together we refine those revelations with the fuller comprehension that comes from having our partner sharing with us. Our fraught loops and triggers take rational form amidst a clarified and better understood history. As a result, we're learning to respond instead of react. Fights still happen. but starting to squabble and catching yourself midfight to both acknowledge how you got there and apologizing is SO much better than inflicting deeper wounds and taking days to make up.
Michelle is helping us rewire our neuro/emotional pathways to allow ourselves to be our best selves. We've accumulated too much baggage, both familial and romantic, to be completely free of our patterns just yet, but we have a deeper trust than we did before. As ruts are unworn and layers of understanding intuition built, our bonds are strengthened. Our future together is bright; this is an investment well worth making.