There are many ways of understanding emotional intelligence, or EQ. One way is to view it as a skill rather than a number. It is the life long practice of accepting and changing inherited and learned patterns and beliefs. Successful learning of EQ will result in an ability to flow between feelings and ideas within ourselves and between others without getting too stuck or too obsessed with each one, especially when they may contradict one another.
The act of toggling between acceptance and change creates the necessary space to be introduced to and to (re)acquaint with hidden parts and new identities, which may aid in the, otherwise, much more monotonous journey of the Self. While this journey can be profound and liberating, it can also be uncomfortable and destabilizing even when practiced with the best of intentions. The learnings that come forth can be worth the discomfort and will depend on the Self’s willingness to build emotional capacity, let go of control, and uncover hard truths.
I invite a bit of self-inquiry before committing to this this work: What are the internal and external resources that help you increase a sense of personal responsibility? What impedes and distracts from it? How willing are you to shed historic parts of yourself in the interest of learning and making space for other versions of yourself? Are you willing to shine an unrelenting light on all the ways you practice self-deceit?
While it is necessary to know how to receive help deeply and graciously, it is equally important to learn how to be responsible for our own lives and the goal of this work is not to become reliant but instead to develop an increasing sense of autonomy and trust for every decision life asks you to make.
It’s very brave of you to come here and in case you were wondering - yes, you are worth all this work.