There are many ways of understanding Emotional Intelligence, or EQ. First, EQ is a skill not a number. It is the life long practice of accepting and changing inherited and learned emotions and ideologies. Successful learning of EQ will result in an ability to flow between feelings and ideas within ourselves and between others without getting stuck no matter how contrary they may be to one another.
The act of toggling between acceptance and change creates the necessary space to (re)acquaint with hidden parts and discover new identities, new truths. While this journey can be profound and liberating, it can also be very uncomfortable and destabilizing even when practiced with the best of intentions. Successful outcome will partially depend on the willingness to build emotional capacity and uncover hard truths - truths that often disrupt long-held ideologies and self-perceptions. I invite a bit of self-inquiry before beginning this work: What are the internal and external resources that help you increase a sense of personal responsibility? What impedes and distracts from it? How willing are you to shed historic parts of yourself in the interest of relearning and making space for other versions of yourself? Are you willing to shine an unrelenting light on all the ways you practice self-deceit?
While it is necessary to know how to receive help deeply and graciously, it is equally important to learn how to be responsible for our own lives and the goal of this work is not to become reliant but instead to develop an increasing sense of autonomy and trust for every decision life asks you to make.
It’s very brave of you to come here and in case you were wondering - yes, you are worth all this work.